| If this is the cream of the crop it's time to start burning some fields. |
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[
2/12/07 - 5:21 pm] |
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mood |
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 thirsty |
] |
i took too many nondrowsy cold pills last night that made me really sick.
...i want it to be spring. i want to undo the things i've changed. i want to graduate.
i want to not have a birthday.
iM nERvOuuUUUUSSsSsS
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| . . . |
[
2/4/07 - 11:19 pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
ARE YOU on acid?
putting things into perspective, i think things are just leveling out.
i wouldn't change them if i had the opportunity.
i'm getting other things in check.
i have a bad feeling about something.
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[
1/7/07 - 7:09 pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
] |
going to santafe in february.. mmm
i enjoy being in bad moods turning my cellphone off and going to sleep at 830.
i didn't accomplish anything i wanted to this weekend but who cares.
sometimes i wonder if you and i will ever be on the same page. i think it's better that we
never will be. mostly because i hate committment, and you're happier with your fat fugly
girlfriend.
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| just about the most uplifting news. .. . . |
[
12/24/06 - 10:10 am] |
1.)i find out there's an 80% chance i'm allergic to wheat and gluten and everything and my immune systems is screwed up as a result and that's why i'm sick all the time. everyone who ever told me I WAS A HYPOCHONDRIAC can eat shit.
2.)i did absolutely abominable on my SAT's. I do terrible under pressure and on standardized testing. It's funny how being reduced to numbers can completely destroy your selfconfidence. Hello HCC.
... and if you think you're too fucking cool to talk to me, i'd rather have nothing to do with you anyways. my life isn't a revolving door, you can be in it or you can have nothing to do with me. EITHER WAY IS FINE WITH ME.
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| oooooooheyyyy |
[
12/20/06 - 7:28 pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
] |
if i don't get into santa fe; i aspire to get hit by a hess truck.
i am looking forward to, christmas, maa birfday, and graduation.
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| update on my stupid life. |
[
12/10/06 - 2:49 pm] |
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mood |
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 nerdy |
] |
i really like getting drunk by myself and reading. sometimes i get thinking that i don't need anyone in my life, LIFE IS SO GOOD WITHOUT HUMAN CONTACT. sundays make me feel this way. i guess i'm just difficult to understand, and if you don't read me well, i can be impossible to deal with.
there's no better way to spend a sunday then wrapped up in downcomforters and ugg boots with frank mccourt and seamus heaney. if you don't know who i'm talking about i don't know why i even associate with you.
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[
11/18/06 - 12:01 am] |
i retract taht statement. life is manageable. i had a really awesome time today just doing nothing.
sleeping, watching movies, looking at pictures with my family.
keeeep things mellloowwwwww
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[
11/9/06 - 3:09 pm] |
i seriously
...............
don't know if i can even deal with anyone anymore.
days like today i just want to be a mute. and live out the rest of my existence in cambodia.
actually, ireland.
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| it was all a dream, i used to read word up magazine |
[
10/30/06 - 5:45 pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
] |
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music |
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biggie- juicy |
] |
irene passed away. i cried alot.
halloweens tomorrow.
me and whats his face and our six hour conversations again.
when i'm not happy, i don't talk.
putting myself above everyone else because it's the only way
i can function.
.. . and that's about it.
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| i |
[
10/15/06 - 9:41 pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
] |
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music |
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the fray- how to save a life |
] |
am entitled to atleast one day of happiness.
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| yeah |
[
10/10/06 - 12:07 am] |
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mood |
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 angry |
] |
i am so angry i dont even know what to do. most of the time i just keep my mouth shut. i dont say anything.
but today instead i threw a gallon of juice at my brothers head. and it exploded everywhere.
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[
10/3/06 - 3:38 pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
] |
So i guess the moral of the story is,
make sure the person driving you home is as drunk as you are so you can crash into a telephone pole
and never have to think about it again.
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| i never worry, now that is a lie. |
[
9/26/06 - 7:51 pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
] |
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music |
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saves the day- cars and calories. |
] |
Maybe I need this back.
Maybe I need to write in this again
because I don't have that completely unbiased venting source anymore.
Anyways, I've had my car for about a month.
I love it. It's not even that nice of a car, but it's mine. And it's more fun
to drive than my mom's 40,000 car. I'd rather drive it than anything to be honest.
I don't trust anyone or anything anymore.
The worst thing imaginable happened last weekend. Funny how someone you barely know
and don't give two shits about can take so much away from you. And then you can't even
talk about it.
Anyways, I'm having a shitty day.
I need to start taking like anxiety pills.
Or like anti worry pills. I worry about everything.
I over analyze everything and then freak out about it.
Maybe I should be on like medication for that.
The way someone looks at me can completely ruin my day.
That isn't normal, is it?
Work has been decent. The only thing that sucks is I put my heart into everything I do, and when
that entails working with people who have life threatening illnesses and are really old,
it winds up like this: You get close to them, and they die.
And it kind of fucks with your head a little bit.
Tonight I trained Jen, because I felt like giving her all my hours because I work too much.
It was good. About 3 and a half hours of just talking about getting trashed. Jen is hilarious.
I need to do something for myself. Something to make up for the shitty things that keep happening
to me. Something to reassure myself that all I need is my family, and the hope that I get into CSF and
get to move to Santa Fe next August. Don't get me wrong, I love New England. But I need a change of scenery.
I need new people, and new things. I need life remodeling.
Extreme Makeover Katie's life edition a little bit.
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[
8/14/06 - 12:00 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cold |
] |
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music |
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SAVES THE DAY |
] |
so now I've been alone and it's been going but tomorrow might not come
if I don't let it so don't forget the mornings that we spent deep inside out heads
staring at blank walls 'cause that's what counts
and I don't know but I'm trying to let you go
but I can't cut so well these strings I have around my neck
and I'm trying to let you know that I'm doing this by myself-
so don't forget we sent letters to ourselves without words
and it was just to remember those days that we spent in our heads.
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| uhhhhhh |
[
7/28/06 - 9:31 am] |
Fuck this entry.
You know why?
Because they both suck.
Men are shallow shallow shallow.
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[
7/24/06 - 12:59 pm] |
summer is amazing.
sarah sam bonnie and me and our bubble.
the cape sucked and it rained the last 3 days so my tan is lacking.
its okay.
waiting for the most amaazing person ever to come home from tour.
and keeping my fingers crosses that things stay this good.
it's been three months since i've written in this piece of shit,
and it will probably be another five until you hear from me again.
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| hm. |
[
5/9/06 - 3:09 pm] |
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mood |
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busy |
] |
I'd rather go to the gyno than go to livejournal.com
that lovely little analogy aside, don't be depressed
if i don't write in this shit anymore. i think i'm done.
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[
4/29/06 - 3:03 am] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
] |
i'm in a real good mood.
but i don't relaly have much
to say to livejournal anymore.
only meagan reads this.
hey meagan, i love ya!
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[
4/23/06 - 4:24 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nauseated |
] |
You don't have to be a fucking idiot
to find out who ACTUALLY gives a shit about you.
and maybe i've had like beer goggles on all this time
or something because i missed it somewhere along the way.
fuck effort.
16 months until i fucking leave this place.
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